New blogs for year three at Bath Spa University, Creative Arts

This is just a note to say that this blog will now be superseded by two new blogs as I enter my third year at uni. There will be two blogs - one will be called 'The Art of Mending' and this will be my base for me textile project news. The starting point will pick up from last years work about damage and repair. The address will be:  julieheaton-textiles.blogspot.co.uk

The second blog is 'The Effort of Perfect'. This blog will account for my third year art work and will continue exploring my need to be perfect. The address for this blog is:   julieheaton-art.blogspot.co.uk

Thank you for following this blog.

News from Art in Action

I have been back from Art in Action for a week now and only just finding time to update my blog. It has been so busy, and now the school holidays have been very busy but a lot of fun.

This year the sun shone and the wellie boots were swapped for summer shoes, as commented on by an Art In Action regular. Once again the classes were full and some lovely comments recorded in my comments book. My son Josh who is 14 and my niece Jessica, 17 helped by teaching the marbling, doing a fab job as we struggled with the heat and hence the inks spreading very fats and proving somewhat harder to control - although that is part of the fun with marbling. Here are some photos:-

Josh was a true artist - whatever he could find was placed experimentally in the marbling tray between sessions: pebbles, folded up pieces of paper and many colour combinations were tried so that he knew just how to get the best effect. Jess was also fab - she had bad excema on her hands but continued to put her hands in the carrageen and inks to ensure everyone had fun. 

Recipe for Carrageen

Measure 25gms carrageen and put in saucepan with 1.7litres cold water.

Bring to the boil and gently simmer for 5 mins.

Add 500mls of cold water and leave in fridge overnight.

Strain the carrageen mixture through a piece of muslin. Leave to come to room temperature before using.

This may be kept in fridge for up to a week.

Silk Painting Materials

Silk paints used in the class were Pebeo Seta Silk purchased online from Rainbow Silks @ www.rainbowsilks.co.uk.  The paints are water based and fixed by ironing for 5minuntes on a silk setting.

The silk fabric I used was a medium weight habitai available form all haberdasheries or for larger amounts online from Whaleys @ www.whaleys.co.uk

Gutta used was Dupont Serti N. This is solvent based and again available from Rainbow Silks.

Teachers Tent

My scarves were hand painted on silk crepe with steam fix dyes by Dupont, again from rainbow Silks. I was very pleased with these scarves  - although a lot of paint is required and much time to carefully hem, they are a lot of fun to make. I may need to find a new system to stretch the silk as it easily slips out of the Arty Frame. However they have a fantastic sheen, drape well and are a lovely accessory. One was sold at Art in Action along with a number of cards, broaches, silk jewellery and handmade books. Other scarves have been given to some family members.

I was not too happy with my piece for the Best of the Best. My previous work was made by drawing freely from direct observation, no marks made apart from the machines stitches as seen in 'After You,  Drill'. The dodgem cars used in the Memories were drawn with pencil onto dissolvable fabric from photographs and whilst many hours were spent working on the images, they lost all movement and expression of feeling and were simply a representation of what happens at any fun fair. My attempts to demonstrate the fragile  rebuilding of new memories for my boys and niece after the loss of Carl, became lost as I tried to just fill in the lines of my drawing with coloured stitch. However, all is not lost as a lot was learnt about free machine embroidery, framing layers of work and the use of colour. 

After You, Drill

Memories

So with the summer holiday coming to an end, time to look back at the many experimental photos I have taken with my  new Camera, a Canon EOS 60 D. Can I use any of the images for drawings or will they simply be  a  spark for a new idea.  I must consider what I learnt from making my piece Memories, and then remember where I left off in the last academic year and decide how to make go forward and make my work to grow.

sorry for no entries during august

This is just a quick apology for not writing any new posts during August. After a very busy year at uni, the school project and Art in Action, I am having some time off with my boys. News from Art in Action - etc will come soon.

Art In Action

I have been working so hard on my ideas for Art In Action and whilst I don't have much time to write, as I still need to pack, I will just enter some images and then add my comments as soon as I can.

Memories, 2013 Silk painting and free machine embroidery

Hand painted silk scarf

Hand painted silk scarf

Hand painted silk scarf

At the heart of it

Not sure why, but now seems to be the right time to talk about my journey through art after a personal trauma: maybe this is because I feel my blog needs the rest of the story and perhaps it might be able to help someone else. On December 8th, 2009, my husband Carl, died through suicide: my family life was torn apart and I was left to pick up the pieces and try to continue supporting my two young sons who at that time were just 8 and 10 years old. Now the art is at last finding it's way, I want to share why it has been such an important element in our new life.

Carl was 43 and his death was completely out of the blue. I had no idea how he was feeling and for some time I blamed myself for not noticing the warning signs. But how could I possibly imagine that a loving and passionate man who embraced fatherhood with all his strength could ever be thinking of such a desperate and final act. This dreadful word which I don't tend to write very often, suicide, changes every part of your life that is left and the journey back into some kind of happiness takes a long time and perhaps will never truly resolve. But we are learning  new ways to cope and find ways of being happy again and whilst sometimes this just feels temporary, we are realising that life is very precious and still needs to be embraced. My two sons have and still are being well supported and nurtured in a way that I hope will always let them talk and that whilst life will never be perfect, there can still be hope and happiness.

Spain, April 2009

London, Nov. 2009

Throughout this journey, art has been a very powerful need and support although at times it has also proved an element of struggle. But I have been able to explore the pain and heartache, the confusion and isolation, the anger and the love. I am never short of an issue to work on, it has just been a case of finding the right medium. I have not wanted to upset anyone and tried to be mindful of other family members, but art is about the world in which we live and what better way is there to explore such personal issues and life itself. 

Whilst this is just a small summary of what has happened during this very rocky journey, at least it might explain where the idea came from for drawing Carls's OM10  and the Bosch Drill on dissolvable fabric with thread. I try to make the images perfect, each stitch allows thought and reflection on his life and our lives that we now have: the new skills I have tried to learn. But then I wash the back ground away, I don't quite know what will happen. Will the stitches hold together, fall apart, distort and make a new shape? We had the foundations pulled from under our feet, we still don't quite now how it will all be but the imperfections can allow you to see a new beauty which is not always obvious. 

So whilst I am very pleased with the outcome of my textile projects and I have achieved a very good grade, there is that  element of guilt - if Carl had not died, would my art have contained so much passion and love, would it have been so successful? And can I now keep it up?

Preparing for Art In Action

My work is now under way for this years show which starts on 18th July and runs for 4 days. Whilst I have been a bit slow to get going after a very busy end to my academic year I have now decided on a direction - something that is happy and fun...

I am trying to reproduce images from my holidays in West Bay and the Fun Fair is first. West bay is providing new holiday memories for my boys as we try to make new routines and new ways to enjoy ourselves without Carl. We had such wonderful family holidays form camping on sites with few amenities but breathtaking views to climbing Mount Etna. I miss these times every day but but I now look forward to our annual trip to West Bay with my sister, niece and the boys. 

The cars are embroidered with marathon threads on a single layer of solu-fleece. They will be suspended in in frames and float over a painted silk habitai background. It is time consuming but exciting and is all preparation for year three at Uni.

Have decided to enter all three drawings of drill, hammer and screwdrivers to Jerwood Drawing Prize. They will form a series with the title 'After You'.

Drawn 2013 at the RWA

This week I need to go and collect my work "We Should Smile More...'  from the RWA as Drawn has come to an end. On Friday I paid my final visit to the exhibition and feel that I should now just say a little about the exhibition and my favourite pieces.

South Lodge Camp, Timothy Harrison

This had a fabulous texture and a striking appearance. It was simple yet spoke clearly about its subject, the markings of a land fort.

Meyouthem,  Yvonne Crossley

I particularly liked this large scale triptych of a drawn figure. Close up it had the structure of knitting, with large pins appearing to hold some parts of the body together. Pigment ink is used to make the marks.

Wound Skull, Elle Ford

This work was accompanied by 2 photographs which were also very interesting and looked just like a delicate drawing. A skull has been wrapped in wire and then burnt. I would really like to know more about why this work was made. It was sympathetically placed in an old presentation case.

Debbie Lock, Marks made whilst walking

I loved the marks made in these images - a fantastic idea, pens or pencils positioned in boxes and placed in ruck sacks and left to make marks as people walked for 20 minutes. I want to know what else was in the bag, what was the weather like and who accompanied them.

Shape Shifter XXV, Natalie McGrorty

I really like work where obsessive mark making has been a big part in the process of making. It allows a lot of questions such as what was the artist thinking as each mark was made? Did they expect the final result? This work is also aesthetically very pleasing although I am not sure that that was the intention.

Drawn has been a fantastic experience - I have had plenty of opportunity to enjoy and wonder about the work and feel very privileged to have been part of this exhibition. I feel very inspired to keep on drawing and continue with my plans to enter The Jerwood Drawing Prize, 2013.

What to call my work

I can not think  how to title my drawing of Carl's drill. It's Only Bricks and Mortar has been the title , but that would be about Carl,  this is now about the boys and myself: how we have managed without him. I am wondering if Having to Use His Drill is more appropriate, not sure so will give it some thought. The correct title is very important if I want people to engage and wonder what the piece is about. It must not be obvious but suggestive of the struggle I have had trying to be perfect but also how empowering it is to manage, to cope and actually appreciate what we do have.

Having to Use His Drill ??

This might work. But  I think I will just give myself a little more time. The Jerwood Drawing Prize will let me change the title if that is what I decide to do. 

Finished pieces and the end of this academic year

I have finished the last of my machine embroidered tools as part of my series of works based on skills that I have learnt since being widowed. As of yet they are untitled as I need to give this some thought. I am very pleased with the result but there is that tinge of sadness - I have made them in a response to loosing Carl: but that will always be the way my work evolves. However, it is a positive response: we still refer to them as dad's tools so his memory will never fade.

Free Machine Embroidered Screw Drivers

Free Machine Embroidered Hammer

And the result, the answer to my quest to explore the need to be perfect - a very interesting point. Referring back to the start and Henry Moore's quote "... all life is a conflict; that's something to be accepted, something you have to know...One must try to find a synthesis, to come to terms with opposite qualities. Art and life are made up of conflicts." For this reason Moore believes that in great art this conflict is hidden and therefore it is not perfect. 

The conflict in my work is the need to get everything right, to be perfect otherwise I have failed, but with this technique,  I cannot be perfect, there will be a certain amount of shape change and any weaknesses in the stitching will show. Like Amanda McCavour, I repeatedly and compulsively stitched  the designs and I have turned Carl's ordinary hammer, drill, screwdriver and camera into something that is extraordinary. The fragility shows: the thread is dense yet there are loose areas which suggest vulnerability, suggest a new meaning- that these imperfections might make the work successful. 

And for me, I have not left the need to be perfect as this is something that can not be resolved over night. It's Only Bricks and Mortar really pushed this to the limit. I worked so hard on the drawing but when I washed the backing away I was really upset with the result. It had completely distorted, but then I was able to question why I felt like this. I had spent a lot of time carefully embroidering the drill and then within 2 minutes, it had changed, changed in way that I had not expected. But then I realised that I was really on to something. The conflict of needing to be able to draw well, needing to be able live my life well, could stop me from being creative but if I just let go I would be able to realise the beauty in life's imperfections. As Janet Hague from Thinking and Stitching suggests, it is this reflection on the things that have gone wrong that can let the work lead, rather than inhibit and offer a way forward.


So where shall I go from here?  This academic year has been so exciting: I have looked at the work of Anna Glasbrook, which I want to continue exploring whilst I decide how to push further
my painted fabrics and stitch, using photographic images as my source, and move beyond the white canvas and frame as used in 'Together'. Heather Belcher has encouraged me to try mark making on felt and allowed me to make still life images of  possessions that remind us of the fragility of the human figure along with the feelings of loss and dislocation. Naseem Darby and Amanda McCavour have inspired my machine embroidery, but still I want to try sculpting, maybe over more personal possessions, maybe on a larger scale, suspended or in glass. And then there is the idea of Damage and Repair as inspired by Dail Behennaih and Jessica Turrell from the Bristol Museum - Stitching and Thinking. This has been a lot of fun and still has a long way to go such as working with rusty metal and embroidery, more damaged or old fabrics. Perhaps I could work from the shape, pattern or remnants of the damage.

Other artists to explore - Alice Kettle
Other materials - leather, metal

Feeling tired

I can't believe this is the final week to finish off. Professional practice folders went in this morning, have tried so hard and have learnt a lot so I guess that is what really matters. It has been a very time consuming module but well worth doing. My folders were very full but will now be a useful resource for the future: curating, marketing, strengthening my web presence and direction for growth of an art career.

Anyway, now time to enjoy making my final pieces for textiles. Have attached some images of the second piece I am working on for my free machine embroidered series on 'things I have learnt to do since Carl died'.

have now finished it ....

Going to remove the backing in the morning so that  I can use the daylight to help keep a careful watch on how much fabric I remove. I really want to try and keep a lot of glue in it otherwise it may be difficult to suspend in the frame.

A comment on 'Artist Statements' and beyond

One final point as my professional practice module comes to an end - artist statements: I have just struggled to decide on which one should be included with this portfolio. Having never used an artist statement before this module, it did at first seem quite easy to write one (As seen on this blog) because my work is so driven by personal issues, but now I am beginning to wonder if there might be two different angles to my work. Whilst I am completely wrapped up in the need to use art to explore psychological states of being, I think this is also encouraging my need to capture other people and just wonder what is going on in their lives. So am I interested in Street Photography simply because I am curious, curious about their lives, their movements and their moments of chaos or calm because it provides another angle to help me answer questions about my own life? I don't know, but I do think it is very interesting. And next year, will I keep this single artist profile or will there be a division: perhaps  my textile work is proving successful as it responds well to the exploration of personal issues, but perhaps I can just enjoy street photography out of a sense of curiosity: curiosity about the world in which we all  live, but also a need to sometimes let go and just have fun.

Anyway, thought I would  finish by posting some more of my photographic images taken for this project which at the moment are just stored in my sketchbook. And then I can decide the way forward for next year.

Man on the harbour side, 2012

Husband and Wife on the Tube, 2012

A Lady with her Trolley, 2013

At Play, 2013

 Untitled, 2013

Plan: look at Sophie Calle's work called The Bronx, 1999. In this work, Calle asked some homeless people to take her to their favourite place in the Bronx. She asked them why it was their favourite and photographed the individual so as to emphasise the reality of this environment. This has inspired me to consider a similar project on the cycle path in Bristol. Often I can feel a little inhibited by the people who use this track whilst I also wonder who they are and where they are going. But if I was to try and find out a little more about these people,  capturing these questions on camera and maybe by forming a narrative, I could also give a touch of gentleness to what seems like a tough area.

Funding for the Arts

Here is a list of sources for funding for art:

Art business. Com

www.artbusiness.com/osorgrants.html

Grant Space

Grantspace.org/Tools/Knowledge-Base/Individual-Grantseekers/Artist/Fund

Arts In Health

www.artshealthand wellbeing.org.uk/resources/funding-sources

Arts for Health

www.artsforhealth.org

Res Artis

www.resartis.org/en/

Artquest

Artists’ Resindencies

www.artquest.org.uk/articles/view/artists-residencies

and funding

www.artquest.org.uk/articles/view/funding51

UCA

Art. Jobs and residencies

Community.ucreative.ac.uk/article/21940/Arts-Jobs-and-Residencies

Art Web

The Artist Newsletter

www.artweb.com/artists-newsletter

University of the Arts London

Blogs.arts.ac.uk/libraryservices/2013/04/23/artstor-suscription

Art Monthly

Magazine, Events, Galleries

www.artmonthly.co.uk/magazine/site/newsletter

Artist Network

www.artistnetwork.com/get-the-free-artists-networks-newsletter

The National Lottery

www.lotterygoodcauses.org.uk/funding

The Princes Foundation for Children and the Arts

www.childrenandarts.org.uk/

Make Space

www.makespace.org.uk/resources/funding-opportunites/grant-making-bodies-and-charitable-trusts

Bristol City Council

Arts and Culture Funding

www.bristol.gov.uk/page/leisure-and-culture/arts-and-culture-funding

A big thank you to Judith Perry, Textile Artist

Finally framed at last

I have just managed to get It's Only Bricks and Mortar framed. Took three hours to sort out but pleased with results. Now plan to make hammer and screwdriver as think a series would be really good.

It's Only Bricks and Mortar

Also want to continue working on my idea of damage and repair. I did spot this work in May/june issue of Embroidery by Lizz Aston

Lizz Aston, Antiquated Notions

This is paper, free machine embroidery and burn outs. After my crit at uni today I am going to experiment with some more random, lack of control scorched damage to scrim or hessian: not decided how yet. Here is a link to detailed profile of her work.

http://www.worldofthreadsfestival.com/artist_interviews/041_lizz_aston_11.html

The end is in sight

I have just finished putting together my professional practice folders. I have worked really hard and tried to make sure everything is up together.

We had to give our presentations today and I completely did not realise I had to talk about my work The Wait. I was so disappointed as I had all the info in my sketch book and already recorded on my blog. Not sure how that I managed to miss this message from the tutor but will try and just get on with the rest of the course work and just hope that all the hard work will be ok in the end. At least I have learnt an awful lot this year and been able to really appreciate the whole experience.

Now I will return to textiles for the last 10 days before I start preparing for Art in Action.

Evaluating my Professional Practice Module

October 2012 was the starting point of the Professional Practice module which Bath Spa University have now run for  six years. We were put into 3 mixed media groups of about 12 students with the job of working together to put on an independent, local art exhibition. Throughout this journey, we would also receive careers advice to complement the whole experience with the aim of preparing us for The Art Business. 

Well, this definitely happened, so I will now try and sum up the key learning points including the struggles as well as the highlights. I will not go in to detail of the workings of an eclectic mix of students, what went wrong when we disagreed, how differences were sorted and how we coped with the the extra workload as people provided their reasons for not being able to get involved. It will suffice to say that we overcame most issues the best way possible by recording minutes of meetings and using Facebook frequently to try and keep everyone informed. Some jobs just could not be done to full capacity but we also knew that we just had to get on with it.  But we would have learn a lot  from  the experience and felt justly rewarded by the successful private view.

First, writing this blog - I knew I needed a web presence as an artist but had never got round to it. Quite often when I work at Art in Action (see link below)  people ask me about my art and what inspires me: now I have a great business card to hand out with my email  and blog address so that recent work and inspiration can be viewed.  I have handed out many cards  now and take my blog quite seriously; it is a great sounding board for ideas and has allowed me to tell my story whilst I reflect on the work made. My posts are fairly regular which is great as  frequency of new postings will help to raise my google profile: having my link on other websites and blogs will also be beneficial. I plan to start a Facebook business page, sign up to linkedIn and make more of Artolo and ensure my Flikr account is well organised. The next step is to think about keywords and meta tags which will help to raise my google profile  when I create a website this summer.

Next was the business of obtaining funding. We ran pop up cafes which proved challenging to start but eventually we worked as a team and made a small profit. I tried really hard to supplement this by trying to gain sponsorship from a local business. Lots of local companies were targeted each with a personally delivered letter and then phone calls; quite often a few calls as I was constantly redirected to different people who might be able to help. Eventually I gave up and think I just realised it was nothing more than a paper exercise: the only two rewards, a bottle of wine form a very good local wine company - Raisin Wine and a packet of coffee from The Boston Tea Party'.

With funding underway we had to think about marketing which simply means getting an audience. This is rather a large area but key facts learnt were to make sure that you get plenty of flyers out to the local audience because without this people wont come. We missed out on this: we planned a day as part of our marketing strategy but the flyers weren't quite ready and we didn't have enough time or available people to help to get out again and advertise our exhibition, 'Tell It Like It Is'. So whilst the gallery space at Walcot Chapel, and all of our worked looked great, our visitor numbers were quite poor compared to the other 2 groups of students. Big lesson learnt!

However, we did make use of free websites and were very successful at getting a press release into the Bath Chronicle (local newspaper). This was exciting as before the module I didn't even know such a way to advertise free was available. With some research, three of us worked out how to word the press release - tell the public why your event was unique, why were putting on the exhibition  rather than than just regurgitating art words to describe what people would be able to see.

The next big learning curve was curating: from deciding on a theme for the exhibition through to making decisions about how to create an interesting juxtaposition with the various work that for some students wasn't unveiled until the final 24 hours. Whilst we had had group crits and therefor knew what was going on for just over half of the group. I think that having a theme, although loosely interpreted in various mediums, really did help to focus the work because even those who didn't get involved had an idea of which direction to go with their work.

I chose photography as my choice of medium for the exhibition: this was easy to mount on MDF and looked very professional when hung. Eye level should have been 160 cms but we mistakenly set it at 170cm. However, everything else was also arranged at the same level so I think we managed to get away with it.

I am really interested in photography, capturing moments of curiosity, enjoyment and responses to the environment: this was my intention for professional practice. Being inspired by Jeff Wall and Roger Mayne, I went about taking photos of people where the characters are full sized, and the tensions between them and their backgrounds were evident. Their faces would tell the story, tell it like it is! I was really pleased with my print: the lady in the image was just standing amongst a crowd, she was not interested in the Jaz band which had caught everyone else’s attention, she was looking out for a friend, her boyfriend, who knows, but the picture told it like it was, the wait was consuming her attention and it did not matter about everthing else going on around her.

I do think that curating is very exciting but there does have to be a lot of planning and careful attention to detail. It was a crucially important exercise and has given me a great insight into this area of the art world: having to think about how your work will be displayed, how the audience will interact with it and does it meet the criteria for the show. But there is also the other side, artist who manage to reach the pinnacle of their career and have their own show.

During this process, I have become aware the huge amount of help that is available on line for starting up an art business. I have printed a lot of this and filed it in my folders ready for use as needed. As my memory is not the best I do like to see things in print in relevant sections of a folder, referring back to it as necessary. My folders are just a starting point but will help direct my employability quest once this module is over. 

But for my career to have a chance in this vast and complex market, I am aware of the need to make the most of any opportunities that arise. Nothing should be left to chance and records always kept of any projects or workshops I lead. But, most importantly I need to enjoy these experiences. My job as a midwife is about to restart again in August and whilst I am quite excited about this, it is very stressful. After the loss of my husband, my boys happiness is now of paramount importance and I can only help to secure this if I am enjoying my own life. If I continue to work hard with my degree, focus on  building a future career out of it, I will then be able to enjoy being a midwife because life is always easier if you have options. 

I have been very lucky to have the opportunity to teach felt making workshops  to year 1 and 2 textile students at Bath Spa Uni. I prepared a presentation of felt artists and techniques, organised a large collection of my samples and planned how I would structure the workshops. Both were successful and lots of felt samples have appeared in student crits. My next project is to make a wall hanging with the gifted and talented young artist at Bromley Heath Junior School, where my youngest son is in his last year. This is such wonderful chance to say thank you to the school whilst providing the young artists with an opportunity that will acknowledge their creative talents.  I then need to get down to planning my practical classes at Art in Action for this years event which starts on 18th July and runs for four days. I have entered the Best of the Best and my piece for this will be my next project when the uni work is handed in.

I think the final point is  to believe in my own ideas. The whole module has been based around how to work in the business of art, but without believing in your own work, this will not be possible. Realising I could be part of a group that was able to put on a very good show on a limited budget and with just a small team of students was very exciting: but the fact that I felt happy to hang my work, could talk well about it and be simultaneously considering the next photography project, was very rewarding. And whilst all this was happening I was about to have my first piece of work exhibited at the Royal West of England Academy, and  a second free machine embroidery drawing has been entered into the Jerwood Drawing Prize,  a fantastic way to end the module. 

http://www.artinaction.org.uk

See blog 21/03/2013 for exhibition images, but here are some more that help to tell the story...

Pop Up Cafe

Fundraising - Bag Packing at Sainsburys

Home made bread and fine cheese for private view

Ready for the Private View

Damage and Repair

As discussed on Friday 5th April, my exploration of the need for perfection in my life and the power of stitch in the quest to explore what happens when this does not happen had encouraged me to visit the Stitching and Thinking: Mending at the Museum,  at Bristol Museum and Art Gallery. The group 'Think and Stitch' evolved through the idea of listening, recording and reacting to makers as they reflected on their practice. This has sent me off on a slightly different tangent, perhaps a step backwards. My need to try and be perfect has come from the desperation to repair our lives after the loss of Carl and whilst we will never be able to cover over all the cracks, we could find good in new and unexpected ways. Remembering the Japanese art of 'Kintsugi' making beauty form broken pieces, I decided to look at the idea of damage and repair. 

Burnt hessian with machine embroidery repair.

Burnt scrim with machine embroidery repair.

Threads removed from hessian sacking and then repaired with machine embroidery.

As Dail Behennah (Stitching and Thinking, 2012) states "the darns in a much loved garment are usually stronger than the material they are mending. The jumper recedes, leaving the darns intact". In these images the darning is taken to a different level and becomes the focus of the cloth. A damaged piece has a new identity and whilst the weaknesses are evident, there being has led to new beauty. The next step is too push this further on larger lengths of fabric. 

Also, I am thinking about entering 'It's Only Bricks and Mortar' into the Jerwood Drawing competition.  My plan to do this is supported by Partington's comments on  Janet Haigh's practice (Stitching and Thinking, 2012) :

   

     "...her work is often successfully developed by reflecting on making that has gone awry and this occurrence is recognised and acknowledged by other makers. It is the reflection of this and the ability to let the work lead, rather than impose upon it, that offers a way forward." 

Awaiting the frame from Meltone Gallery, will then do my online entry. 

http://jerwoodvisualarts.org/3088/Jerwood-Drawing-Prize-2013/13 

Only 4 weeks to go now!

I had quite a long crit at uni this morning: there was lots to discuss and now I need to decide what to push further and what to leave for now. It is proving quite hard to keep up the momentum but I know it will be worth it.

During the crit we discussed my theme of perfection/ imperfection and linked it back well to the writings of Henry Moore that started this project "...all life is a conflict; that's something to be accepted, something you have to know. And you have to die, too, which is the opposite of living. One must try to find a synthesis, to come  to terms with opposite qualities. Art and life are made up of conflicts"(Wilkinson, 2002) he goes on to say that in great art this conflict is hidden and unsolved, it is not perfect.  I think this is happening in my work but as it becomes more apparent, I am actually finding it a little uncomfortable. However, this realisation is strengthening my confidence and ambition and allowing me to be more creative. In this latest piece, 'It's Only Bricks and Mortar', I felt really happy with my ability to draw and then strongly questioned these  feelings when the process of removing the backing fabric sent the work off in a different direction. The imperfections at first seemed to overwhelm the work, but then I  remembered what I was trying to explore, the need for perfectionism and the underlying conflicts that might prevent this from happening and actually make make the work more alive and interesting. The imperfect work,  'It's Only Bricks and Mortar'  throws up many more questions than the perfect image did. Also, the work is becoming two parts, the embroidery held together on the strengthening backing fabric, and then the vulnerable thread drawing without its support structure. Like the artists featured in my earlier blogs, Naseem Darbey and Amanda McCavour, the direct observation drawings made from the many  stitches are strong but the individual threads can show their vulnerability. This is key to the work:  how I explore and feel about the imperfections, how it benefits the finished piece or how it might constrain it. The intact, perfect stage of 'It's Only Bricks and Mortar' helped me to believe that I can draw, but the acceptance of the imperfections in the second stage is supported by Klee's (Hughes, 1991) suggestion that we make our most creative work as children, when we  let go of our inhibitions and allow the innocence to shine through. Vulnerability is not a weakness, it is what and how we perceive it. Whilst trying to be perfect and keep everything going at home (after the loss of Carl) may seem like the only solution, actually being able to accept that this isn't always necessary can produce the best sense of satisfaction.

So I have taken 'It's Only Bricks and Mortar' to Meltone Gallery to have a framed made. I will continue to work on making images that are allowed to have imperfections in their execution, continuing with the same theme ie drawings of new skills learnt since being widowed; which has incidentally thrown the idea of masculine and feminine ideologies into the mix. I will also remember the idea of taking apart my 'perfect moment',  photographic images as inspired by Anna Glasbrook's work. Here the possibilities of using some silk painted fabrics with stitch on dissolvable fabrics, allowing both sides to be visible will be played with, but perhaps after this academic year. 

References

Hughes, R. (1991) The Shock of the New. Art and the Century of Change. London: Thames and Hudson.

Wilkinson, A.G (2002) Henry Moore: Writings and Conversations by Henry Moore: (Online) Available from: http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=pzqg4l-ce7oC&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_ge_summary_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=fals

Update on drawing of the drill

I removed the backing from the drill today but just not sure what I think of it.

Free machine embroidered drill

Well, I just can not decide. I like the more natural form and again I enjoyed watching it change shape as the backing fabric washed away. It may be because I was so pleased the original drawing and I feel that  the imperfections have rather taken over as apposed to complimenting the work. But I have learnt alot about this process which is really good.

First, too many stitches in the design, ie any attempt to correct mistakes which results in a build up of layers will add a lot of fulness to the drawing when the backing fabric is removed. Second, on washing away the backing fabric, try not to remove too much of the glue as this provides a good stiffening agent. Third, I need to make plenty of samples: taking notes of how the images are constructed, ie type of threads, layers or thickness of  stitches, and tensions used. I also need to try different types of dissolvable fabrics. Also like to try some painted fabrics with the embroidery. This is just the beginning. 

Free Machine Embroidered Drill

I have just finished another piece of embroidery within the theme of things I have learnt/ had to do since being widowed. Carl was so good at DIY but really had little interest in doing it as a hobby, it was simply a means to an end and he often quoted "there is more to life than bricks and mortar". So maybe that will be the title, not sure!

Now I need to remove the backing fabric and see just what happens: will I get the same result as I did with the camera? Will the imperfections in my work, the weaknesses in the thread, demonstrate a new identity and inner strength just as I am trying to do in my life. But also, there is an added twist, a mans tool represented through the feminine art of stitch. So whilst I am reminded of the sense of loss, the  dislocation is providing new questions and ideas. 

Where next, perhaps more tools, more symbols of empowerment through the exploration of the necessity to be perfect? Plan to research Alice Kettle:

Alice Kettle

Creation 1990-1, MIAAO, Turin, Italy

Coeus Dream, 2006

Alice Kettle first studied fine art at Reading but then concentrated on textiles at Goldsmiths as she more comfortable, instantly recognising an affinity with the practice. Kettle felt better able to draw with stitch than she could with paint or drawing. Stitch felt more liberating as she was not constrained by shape, scale or surface: it was intuitive and immediate. As I have also found during my work - Kettle describes lots of elements that can be played with. Direction can be changed, the tension and speed altered, and the relationship between the top and bottom threads swapped to change the shades and tones of  the thread. And whilst I do this, my inhibitions are lifted as I think more about these processes and less about trying to make a perfect piece of art, although I do hope that I will still be very pleased with the end result.

website: www.alicekettle.com