Damage and Repair

As discussed on Friday 5th April, my exploration of the need for perfection in my life and the power of stitch in the quest to explore what happens when this does not happen had encouraged me to visit the Stitching and Thinking: Mending at the Museum,  at Bristol Museum and Art Gallery. The group 'Think and Stitch' evolved through the idea of listening, recording and reacting to makers as they reflected on their practice. This has sent me off on a slightly different tangent, perhaps a step backwards. My need to try and be perfect has come from the desperation to repair our lives after the loss of Carl and whilst we will never be able to cover over all the cracks, we could find good in new and unexpected ways. Remembering the Japanese art of 'Kintsugi' making beauty form broken pieces, I decided to look at the idea of damage and repair. 

Burnt hessian with machine embroidery repair.

Burnt scrim with machine embroidery repair.

Threads removed from hessian sacking and then repaired with machine embroidery.

As Dail Behennah (Stitching and Thinking, 2012) states "the darns in a much loved garment are usually stronger than the material they are mending. The jumper recedes, leaving the darns intact". In these images the darning is taken to a different level and becomes the focus of the cloth. A damaged piece has a new identity and whilst the weaknesses are evident, there being has led to new beauty. The next step is too push this further on larger lengths of fabric. 

Also, I am thinking about entering 'It's Only Bricks and Mortar' into the Jerwood Drawing competition.  My plan to do this is supported by Partington's comments on  Janet Haigh's practice (Stitching and Thinking, 2012) :

   

     "...her work is often successfully developed by reflecting on making that has gone awry and this occurrence is recognised and acknowledged by other makers. It is the reflection of this and the ability to let the work lead, rather than impose upon it, that offers a way forward." 

Awaiting the frame from Meltone Gallery, will then do my online entry. 

http://jerwoodvisualarts.org/3088/Jerwood-Drawing-Prize-2013/13 

Only 4 weeks to go now!

I had quite a long crit at uni this morning: there was lots to discuss and now I need to decide what to push further and what to leave for now. It is proving quite hard to keep up the momentum but I know it will be worth it.

During the crit we discussed my theme of perfection/ imperfection and linked it back well to the writings of Henry Moore that started this project "...all life is a conflict; that's something to be accepted, something you have to know. And you have to die, too, which is the opposite of living. One must try to find a synthesis, to come  to terms with opposite qualities. Art and life are made up of conflicts"(Wilkinson, 2002) he goes on to say that in great art this conflict is hidden and unsolved, it is not perfect.  I think this is happening in my work but as it becomes more apparent, I am actually finding it a little uncomfortable. However, this realisation is strengthening my confidence and ambition and allowing me to be more creative. In this latest piece, 'It's Only Bricks and Mortar', I felt really happy with my ability to draw and then strongly questioned these  feelings when the process of removing the backing fabric sent the work off in a different direction. The imperfections at first seemed to overwhelm the work, but then I  remembered what I was trying to explore, the need for perfectionism and the underlying conflicts that might prevent this from happening and actually make make the work more alive and interesting. The imperfect work,  'It's Only Bricks and Mortar'  throws up many more questions than the perfect image did. Also, the work is becoming two parts, the embroidery held together on the strengthening backing fabric, and then the vulnerable thread drawing without its support structure. Like the artists featured in my earlier blogs, Naseem Darbey and Amanda McCavour, the direct observation drawings made from the many  stitches are strong but the individual threads can show their vulnerability. This is key to the work:  how I explore and feel about the imperfections, how it benefits the finished piece or how it might constrain it. The intact, perfect stage of 'It's Only Bricks and Mortar' helped me to believe that I can draw, but the acceptance of the imperfections in the second stage is supported by Klee's (Hughes, 1991) suggestion that we make our most creative work as children, when we  let go of our inhibitions and allow the innocence to shine through. Vulnerability is not a weakness, it is what and how we perceive it. Whilst trying to be perfect and keep everything going at home (after the loss of Carl) may seem like the only solution, actually being able to accept that this isn't always necessary can produce the best sense of satisfaction.

So I have taken 'It's Only Bricks and Mortar' to Meltone Gallery to have a framed made. I will continue to work on making images that are allowed to have imperfections in their execution, continuing with the same theme ie drawings of new skills learnt since being widowed; which has incidentally thrown the idea of masculine and feminine ideologies into the mix. I will also remember the idea of taking apart my 'perfect moment',  photographic images as inspired by Anna Glasbrook's work. Here the possibilities of using some silk painted fabrics with stitch on dissolvable fabrics, allowing both sides to be visible will be played with, but perhaps after this academic year. 

References

Hughes, R. (1991) The Shock of the New. Art and the Century of Change. London: Thames and Hudson.

Wilkinson, A.G (2002) Henry Moore: Writings and Conversations by Henry Moore: (Online) Available from: http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=pzqg4l-ce7oC&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_ge_summary_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=fals

Update on drawing of the drill

I removed the backing from the drill today but just not sure what I think of it.

Free machine embroidered drill

Well, I just can not decide. I like the more natural form and again I enjoyed watching it change shape as the backing fabric washed away. It may be because I was so pleased the original drawing and I feel that  the imperfections have rather taken over as apposed to complimenting the work. But I have learnt alot about this process which is really good.

First, too many stitches in the design, ie any attempt to correct mistakes which results in a build up of layers will add a lot of fulness to the drawing when the backing fabric is removed. Second, on washing away the backing fabric, try not to remove too much of the glue as this provides a good stiffening agent. Third, I need to make plenty of samples: taking notes of how the images are constructed, ie type of threads, layers or thickness of  stitches, and tensions used. I also need to try different types of dissolvable fabrics. Also like to try some painted fabrics with the embroidery. This is just the beginning. 

Free Machine Embroidered Drill

I have just finished another piece of embroidery within the theme of things I have learnt/ had to do since being widowed. Carl was so good at DIY but really had little interest in doing it as a hobby, it was simply a means to an end and he often quoted "there is more to life than bricks and mortar". So maybe that will be the title, not sure!

Now I need to remove the backing fabric and see just what happens: will I get the same result as I did with the camera? Will the imperfections in my work, the weaknesses in the thread, demonstrate a new identity and inner strength just as I am trying to do in my life. But also, there is an added twist, a mans tool represented through the feminine art of stitch. So whilst I am reminded of the sense of loss, the  dislocation is providing new questions and ideas. 

Where next, perhaps more tools, more symbols of empowerment through the exploration of the necessity to be perfect? Plan to research Alice Kettle:

Alice Kettle

Creation 1990-1, MIAAO, Turin, Italy

Coeus Dream, 2006

Alice Kettle first studied fine art at Reading but then concentrated on textiles at Goldsmiths as she more comfortable, instantly recognising an affinity with the practice. Kettle felt better able to draw with stitch than she could with paint or drawing. Stitch felt more liberating as she was not constrained by shape, scale or surface: it was intuitive and immediate. As I have also found during my work - Kettle describes lots of elements that can be played with. Direction can be changed, the tension and speed altered, and the relationship between the top and bottom threads swapped to change the shades and tones of  the thread. And whilst I do this, my inhibitions are lifted as I think more about these processes and less about trying to make a perfect piece of art, although I do hope that I will still be very pleased with the end result.

website: www.alicekettle.com

Some new samples...

I have just uploaded some images of some new samples for my textile project so that I can make some comments and try to decide just where to go from here.

This first image continues to explore the idea of drawing tools which represent the news skills I have learnt since loosing Carl. Whilst this could be seen as a negative subject, to me it suggests a positive aspect of the new way that we are having live our lives. Rather than giving up, I have embraced the opportunity of learning these skills and enjoyed the new sense of independence, although sometimes it does just feel like a case of stoicism. The performance of these male dominated skills is then being represented in a very female form, embroidery. The felt base has a wonderful soft feel like a blanket, like a skin and therefor can offer comfort and protection. Each stitch makes me carefully study the drill, thinking about the jobs Carl used it for but also reminding me of my small moments of success. No preliminary marks are made and no mistakes are corrected in the aim of trying to remove the notion that it has to be perfect. The imperfections will form part of the memory: they will remind me of how many holes I made in the kitchen wall when trying to put up the window blind with my sister. Imperfections are part of our life, what matters is how we embrace them!

I will try some other methods of drawing on the felt such as using ink, oil pastel and needle felting  (see previous blog dated 3rd March). Will continue with same theme ie the camera,  drill, saw, central heating box, oil and air in car etc. Just need to decide if will continue using felt or go back to what I love most, free machine embroidery on dissolvable fabric because I think this medium best explores the ideas of perfection and vulnerability.

Free Machine Embroidery, Drill on Felt

The next three images are some experiments made in the exploration of perfection and vulnerability. The works were formed as a response to an image of rocks on a beach, but also an exploration of different approaches to free machine embroidery.

Free machine embroidery on handmade paper.

Free machine embroidery on net and dissolvable fabric

Holes made in muslin, pulled tight over embroidery frame and holes reinforced.

I found these techniques very enjoyable as there wasn't a lot of control over the finished effect and therefor they feel they are more useful in my exploration of the need for perfection. Whilst the drawn image on felt isn't removed from the foot of the sewing machine to look for errors and therefor not corrected during the making process, it does have a dependable, substantial feel and thus the imperfections in the drawing look just like mistakes. I feel that this  hinders the appearance of the work and does not provide a new dimension as was achieved with the camera drawing on dissolvable fabric. So next: first continue on felt with different mediums in which to make marks to see if similar results occur and second, try images of drill etc on dissolvable fabric. Consider using some samples of coloured fabric.

Stitching and Thinking Exhibition at Bristol Museum and Art Gallery

Just happened to find out about this exhibition days before the closing date but so glad that I made the time to go. Bristol Museum and Art Gallery hosted this exhibition in collaboration with the University of the West of England.

I was really interested in the concept of this show as  last year I had produced a body of work for art that linked the processes of thought and mark making: obsessively drawn lines, one after whilst I documented thoughts and feelings in a note book.Would the marks help to calm my worries and concerns or did the obsessive concentration heighten the anxieties. Would I be able to look back at the work and remember those thoughts or were they just gone. 

The stitch and think group  evolved through a similar idea: listening, recording and reacting to makers whilst they made and reflected on this process. As my marks were a metaphor for lives influences and effects, so the stitches used by the group showed another visual language. Haigh and Mason (2012) suggested the stitches were seen as anchors; a hinge; a binding; stitch as metaphor - "a line  of pain"; stitch as memory; family and stitch as inherited knowledge.Their experience was similar to mine, making marks or making stitches can ultimately be meditative, proving a reflective process that  exceeds the physical limits of the chosen medium.

The exhibition  focus' on the art of mending textiles, but this requires love and proves need, need to hold onto the memories of the past. This reminded me of the Japanese art of  'Kintsugi' where broken pottery would be repaired and in so doing, it would have a new beauty and inner strength.

The thinking and stitching group were aware that many repetitive marks are made during the stitch process and that these are actually a 'conscious, investigative act'  rather than a necessary chore. In my year 2 art project, I carefully recorded these thoughts and the resulting work was about much more than than the marks, it was about my desire to control my thoughts but also to understand. Still now I like to make work that is repetitive and compulsive, but very satisfying emotionally. Today we need a great concept behind work so that it can be called art, but as this exhibition shows traditional craft skills are still to be nurtured, loved and executed at very high standards and that this can make all of us think.

Stephanie Wooster
Machine knitted lambswool, cotton calico, cotton crochet and stitch

Janet Hatch
Inspired by the museums samplers

Haigh, J. and Mason, D. (2012) Stitching and Thinking: An Introduction to Mending at the Museum. In: Mason, D ed Stitching and Thinking. Mending at the Museum. SAP Press pp 4-7

Partington, M. (2012) The Hand is the Cutting edge of the Mind.In: Mason, D ed Stitching and Thinking. Mending at the Museum. SAP Press pp8-11

Professional Practice Folder

At the moment I am busy trying to put my Professional Practice folder together. Whilst I have lots of information to organise and manage, I am realising just how huge a subject this is and how I will probably only just touch the tip of the iceberg! So how can I achieve a realistic goal?

First, I have tried to organise my folders so that it is a manageable resource folder for the future. I have kept the conversations that we had on facebook as a reminder of the trials and tribulations of trying to work as a cohesive group even though we were all very different characters, highlighting key areas of discussion, kept dated records of meetings and stored some of our photos on my computer.

Second, I have sections on key subjects such as having a web presence, marketing, fundraising and organising the exhibition. Useful websites (see links on blog under prof practice) and notes from books such as - Inside the White Cube: The Ideology of the Gallery Space by Brian O'Doherty and Art and Artefact: The Museum as Medium by James Putnam. Other books on our reading list include:

Top Careers for Arts and Graduates (Top Careers Series), 0816054894, Checkmate Books, 2003
Annabelle Ruston, An Artist's Guide to Selling Work, 0713671599, A & C Black Publishers Ltd, 2005
Carol Mitchels, How to Survive and Prosper as an Artist, 5th ed.:Selling Yourself Without Selling Your Soul, 0805068007, 1999
Daniel Grant, The Business of Being an Artist, Third Edition, 1581150563, Allworth Press, 2000
Daniel Grant, The Fine Artist's Career Guide (Business and legal Forms), 1581153473, Allworth Press, 2004
Karen Taylor, The Internet for Artists, 1902528158, Eyelevel Books, 2002

and journals: Artists Newsletter, Ceramic Review, Selvedge, Creative Review.

I have listed them on my blog with the aim of coming back to them when possible: at the present time I have so much material that is already being documented and stored in my folders.

So third? The fundamental issue in this process of career advice and development - to just take every opportunity as it arises.  I am going to go to the RWA to meet Karen Wallis, artist in residence, who has invited all exhibiting artists in Drawn to take part in her drawing project that she is undertaking during the exhibition. Karen is interested in  peoples views on drawing and how they approach their work. I have also decided to enter The Best of The Best at Art in Action this year with a piece involving painted fabric and embroidery. I am also planning a project at my sons school for the gifted and talented young artists and preparing for another felt workshop at uni. This all feels very exciting and positive so now all that is needed is careful planning of my time and a continued drive to work hard and remember all the useful links and knowledge sources that I have discovered during the professional practice module, enabling me to work towards a creative career.