Received my feedback from tutor at uni today. Really felt a little deflated as lines such as 'perhaps you are still in search of your appropriate media...' and 'step out of your own shoes sometimes to see your work more objectively - it might be helpful and allow you to relax and play more'. So where am I going to go? At first I felt like I wanted to give up and have some time out from the degree, but even though the overall mark was not what I needed to reassure me that it would all be worth it, there had to be a way to boost my confidence and find something that really makes me want to work, something that I can do well.
Whilst feeling like I had had enough, I discovered that I was booked onto a drawing day at uni, just what I needed - and just 10mins to get myself sorted and decide to go. The day was hosted by Brendan Burns and it was inspirational. The day was very informative and encouraged any kind of mark with any kind of medium. Here is a link to his website...
http://www.brendanstuartburns.co.uk and some images of his work...
He says 'Painting is thinking; it is a presentation of what you do not know as well as what you do know .....They are about contemplation, they have to be sensed as well as experienced, they are physical .... The 'spiritual' response and purpose is central.'
I didn't really like much of what I made on paper, partly because I just loved the marks that others were making and probably a little lacking in confidence at the moment. Also such mark making makes me very aware of my own vulnerability, all I wanted to do was get home and work in my own place and that is just what I did.
So whilst I know I need to keep working at this as I am very unsure of my ability to just play: scared of the results and of not making things that I will be happy with...
But these are slightly better and have encouraged me to have another go
So perhaps this could help me work. I could take photos of moments in time that seem perfect. This is my theme for textiles and this week I have really agonised over where to go with it. The photos don't have to be perfect images (although they could be), they just have to record a moment that was perfect, a feeling, a response to a time or place that made me feel good, good enough to be captured and held in my memory. The image will then go into my sketch book, become marks and colours, then I will use these sources to work in embroidery, silk and paper as inspired by Anna Glasbrook, Naseem Darbey and Amanda McCavour.
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