New Year

What an end to the old year: whilst still dealing with difficult personal issues, I really felt that life was improving - the uni work was proving very enjoyable and there seemed to be some sense of control over our home life and even the advancing Christmas season was being embraced for the first time in three years. But then came the day itself and a trail of cataclysmic events that now mean life has to change and I have to re-motovate my self to continue on the degree course. Do I just want a break and time to really rest and reflect on what has happened to me in the last three years, or do I grab the 'bull by the horns' and start to rebuild my enthusiasm to create art but in a way that also allows for some personal healing?

First some images from my work at the end of 2012...

Henri Moore said that great art is not perfect, it contains conflict that is unresolved (Henry Moore: Writings and Conversations by  Henry Moore and Alan G. Wilkinson). I want to explore the conflict in my life. I want to be a perfect mother, midwife, friend and student but often this is just not possible. Perfection in one area often leads to failure in another part of my life and perhaps what is necessary is simply to concentrate on what is important at the present moment in time, to not strive for perfection but embrace the beauty in the flaws, the untended mistakes and conflicts that truly reflect my sense of being.

This image was made on my Bernina sewing machine: I started in one place on the fabric and carefully drew this image of Carl's camera freehand. No stitch was corrected and the mark was continuous, i.e. I was not able to break off and start in another area to facilitate a more accurate drawing. The effect, well it isn't perfect - the perspective is slightly skewed and any mistakes are embraced, but the image works and I like it. It is about me, my inner conflict that wonders if I can actually draw and make good art. It is about the idea and about my life!

These two images show my first goes with the Irish machine. An attempt to control and understand how this wonderful old machine works.

Plan, to try free drawing on the Irish Machine as I have with my Bernina. Make more drawings of anything that I can to inspire a direction for this work.  Research textile artists that have similar ways of working whilst remembering the work of Louise Bourgeois and Tracey Emin who were studied in depth during the previous academic year.